Beauty from my AshesFor the rest, enjoy it here.
PTSD is something that hits you over and over again. It is like your mind is stuck in a loop where the traumas repeat over and over again and often the full intensity of what was felt then was felt again. It is draining, humiliating and jarring and yet somehow one has to get through life. I don’t have all of the symptoms I used to have like the constant flashbacks or feeling acid when someone would touch me lightly, but I still have problems with headaches and fatigue and some anxiety that hinders my everyday life. This is why I say that the stuff I experienced did not make me stronger. I cannot handle as much stress or emotional strain as I could if this had not happened (though God gave me a high resiliency and ability to bounce back and so I can still handle more than many). I do very well in my school work, but could do much better if I did not have the fatigue and headaches. Also, what happened in itself did not build character in me. Other kids who have gone through these types of things have killed themselves, turned to drugs, stripped for money, dropped out of school, become bitter…etc. It was God’s work in my life that brought about beauty.