Monday, September 23, 2013

When God Doesn't Speak

I might be weird in thinking and experiencing this, but I'm actually somewhat at peace with his silence. Consider this:

I rarely spend any time free from outer stimuli. Meaning I never unplug my headphones (except when my wife asks me, which is rare) or disengage from the Internet when I have a moment of free time. I'm usually up to my knees in the world of the New Testament or doing married stuff (shame on you if your mind went there) to really consider much else.

It hit me a few weeks ago int he midst of the height of wedding tension, that I hadn't heard from God in weeks or even months. The last time I did, it felt like I caught the first sniff of the autumn smoke before it vanished. Vanished rather quickly, but lingered enough to let me know what I've missed.

I hadn't considered this in great detail, aside from several posts in the past, and I want to maybe consider some new ideas here.

My main thought has to do with necessity. I don't need to speak with my wife to tell her that I love her; as in any good relationship, conversation is most helpful but not always needed.

Maybe this is the same thing.

Like I mentioned above, the faint scent of loss reminded me of what I had lost, what I had experienced and what I enjoyed about such things. I remember good times in venting and ranting about my own little problems as well as bad times involving. . . well. . .venting and rants. I remember praising God and I remember swearing upon his name.

Now, it is an odd feeling to be okay with silence, to be okay when he doesn't speak to me. Lest it get twisted, I'm not on the slippery slope to atheism; I am, however, pondering God's relationship to me, and my relationship to him.

Is it based on conversation, or do we know enough of each other that words are no longer needed? You can know your wife's need so well as to not need to say anything, yet those words can make or break an anniversary dinner date.

Maybe this is similar.

God doesn't need to speak to be heard. That's a haunting thought for me in hindsight. I've always been under the impression that unless I'm hearing his voice, I'm not doing the right thing. Until now, its comforting to consider that I can sense love without him needing to spell it out.

Still. It would be nice to hear from him.

But I can feel him in my wife's embrace, in the handshake from my groomsmen, and in the sacrifice of my family for myself and Allison.

Are words needed in prayer? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe. Just maybe.

How about for you? And welcome back to my blog. :)

--Nick

3 comments:

  1. I find my answer to your questions multifaceted, Nic.
    First, I contend that God *always* speaks through His word. It may not always be new or fresh, per se, but at the very least He will always remind us of some basic Truth. It maybe reminding us of His goodness, a reminder of who we are in Christ, or even gleaning something from reading through an account of Jesus' life.
    Secondly, I have found silence to be an indicator of true intimacy. There is a level of comfortableness in silence that can be only found in the closest of friendships. God is our Lord, but He also calls us "friend". He wants to be able to trust us with His silence, and even speak to us through the silence.
    Lastly, I can look back on my walk with Lord and remember during certain "seasons" of silence I found myself being brought back to a moment, or situation when I decided to "grieve the Holy Spirit". I do not liken it to the idea of "unconfessed sin", but rather a break down in communication. There are times when I shrug off the Holy Spirit's prompting in an area (out of fear, etc), or just disobeyed His heeding. It's never been out of guilt, condemnation, or coercion, but through grace and kindness that God has ushered me back to those moments when I made a decision that hurt our fellowship. I think it can be liken to your marriage with your wife. There may be times in your marriage when you say something, intentionally or unintentionally, that hurt your wife, or vice versa. You two are still married, but there is a break down in the fellowship within your marriage. As you will find there is a need to extend patience and grace with each other, the Lord is even more gracious and patient with us, especially when He calls us back to those moments when we decided to do our thing leading to the cause of a break in fellowship. His desire is to reveal Himself to us, and for a closeness in relationship. Its out of that desire that He draws back to those places that need attention, confession, and a restored sense of oneness with Him.

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    1. "As you will find there is a need to extend patience and grace with each other, the Lord is even more gracious and patient with us, especially when He calls us back to those moments when we decided to do our thing leading to the cause of a break in fellowship."

      Loved this. Really ministered to me. :)

      --Nick

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  2. "Jesus Christ" newly discovered image in Michelangelo's The Last Judgement: https://medium.com/this-happened-to-me/95ea1226769c The Video that shows the image of Christ "hidden" for centuries but only now discovered is at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sZNMJMOeTw0

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