A (Fictional?) Meta Conversation Between an Atheist and a Christian

              ATHEIST
     So tell me about God.

              CHRISTIAN
     You already know who He is.

              ATHEIST
     Did you just capitalize -- never mind.
       (Beat)
     So read my mind and tell me what I already know.

              CHRISTIAN
     Well, He’s the best you could ever hope to have.

              ATHEIST
     So He is a thing?

              CHRISTIAN
     No silly! He’s a person. Well, three of them. 

              ATHEIST
     So are we talking Norman Bates or something else.

              CHRISTIAN
       (Sigh)
     Sigh.
       (Beat)
     Do you accept what you already know?

               ATHEIST
     I don’t know what I know, how would I know what --

               CHRISTIAN
     So is that a no?

Beat.

               ATHEIST
     Yes?

               CHRISTIAN
     Don’t worry. You’ll still be handsome in hell.

               ATHEIST
     Is that supposed to scare me?

               CHRISTIAN
     Yes. Bet you feel hot right now.

               ATHEIST
     Well I do feel something ...

In case it wasn't obvious, I wrote portions of this down when I heard it in the coffee shop. I tweaked some parts and added a clarifying line here and there. Largely true.

As someone who identifies as a Christian, this is hard to stomach.

--Nick