Showing posts with label George W. Bush. Show all posts
Showing posts with label George W. Bush. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Making God Look Good "Cover Letter"


Nicholas Ahern
555 Red Herring Ave
Orange County, CA
555.555.1555

February 28, 2012

Re/ Personal Public Relations Director
To: St. Paul

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to present myself to Irvine Center for IMAGO DEI Enterprise. 

I believe that endurance and self-motivation are both vital for success.  

I possess the endurance and self-motivation required for a goal-oriented and result-driven marketplace. My drive to succeed coupled with my sense of loyalty has made me an asset to employers and furthered my education. For instance, while I was earning my B.A., I realized I did not have enough money to finish my last semester, but was determined to get my degree. I rode my bike eight miles traveling to and from the train station between a less expensive community college and Biola University. I made it to class on time and graduated. Not with honors, but I did graduate anyway. 

I have a minor in theology, and though I am not classically trained as a theologian, I do have a wealth of experience in storytelling and filmmaking. I am certain that there must be a great many theologians and lawyers willing to work for you, but I believe I am more qualified then them and this is why:

I don't have anything to lose. But your boss does. In fact, if your boss turn out to have a negative reputation, many of the people he created will end up pushing paper in a very hot basement for all eternity.

I have experience in defending many people like Rob Bell, George W. Bush, Barack Obama and John Piper. I can be impartial if paid enough to overlook my conscience. 

I work hard consistently and am always eager to direct people to great products or services. This is why I would love to set up a convenient time to discuss the possibility of working for IMAGO DEI Enterprises. Having worked within the fast-paced environment of academia and Hollywood, I believe I would be a valuable asset to your organization. Please contact me at your earliest convenience. 

Sincerely,

Nicholas Ahern