Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Satire. Show all posts

Friday, November 8, 2013

Grand Theft Auto 5, A Review

I'm not the biggest gamer in the world, at least anymore. I remember when the N64 came out and I spent hours playing it at my friend David's house (while being 'grounded' from Nintendo no less!). From then, I've been hooked on the more old school form of video gaming, at least from a distance. While at my bachelor party, my friends and I broke out the N64 for Mario Kart and SSB. It was a good old time.

I've been familiar with the GTA series since San Andreas. I know this because I played it constantly on my laptop while at Biola, even in class. I think it was New Testament or something. Either way, I made sure to sit in the back to avoid giving other students something to actually do.

So I'm been pretty invested in the GTA series. I've always loved the free-roaming environments, the satire, the essential libertarian freedom to do pretty much whatever you wanted. Usually, the satire was enough to get me through any ethical reservations I would have. Same with the newest incarnation of GTA, which takes us back to where I started.

Los Angeles. Errr San Andreas.

Anyway. As a prelude, this review isn't intended as a comprehensive examination. Its more about what stood out to me in playing this game.

The game moves through three main characters: Franklin, Trevor and Michael. In a sense, the three stooges if they decided to embody a living critique of their own American excessive culture. Through their chasing the American dream (a butt load of money), we are privy to stupidity, immortality and hilarity on a near perfect plane. The heights of government to the sewers, GTAV traverses a literal world. Its compact yet expansive.

Mechanically, the game is as fluid as a maple syrup enema. The land vehicles in GTA4 handled, most often, like there was a rhino attached to the rear fender. Here, the physics are tweaked to the point of being a cartoon. Cars still spin out, but the traction holds well once you gain a bit of speed. The hide and shoot mechanic is solid as usual, so no complaints there. There are a few instances of pop up, but nothing worth mentioning more than once here.

In regards to shooting (c'mon, that's the main reason my wife let me buy this game), everything is ramped up beyond anything GTA4 could've handled. Firing a grenade launcher into a group of cars reveals a series of massive concussive explosions, as each car explodes more than once, pieces flying about like paper in a hurricane.

Its technically and narratively dynamic. The world is filled with plenty of side missions. A standout for me was helping a group of white racists track down 'illegal immigrants' and ship them back to Mexico. Not because I really enjoy the prospect of shipping pixelized people around imaginary borders, but because the characters are so simply absurd.

That is where GTAV shines and simmers. The satire is absolutely brutal, flaying everyone from high top religious leaders to the FBI. Some missions revolve around two agencies fighting each other over budgets, pettiness that one hopes isn't indicative of reality. Other missions are controversial and, frankly, some of the most jarringly shocking material to drop in my lap in some time.

I defended the controversial mission in Modern Warfare 2 on the grounds that it was narratively consistent, and realistic in the sense that it placed the gamer in the shoes of someone genuinely moral who was required to act out in an immoral way. It simply plops someone down in a bad situation and says "go."

*SPOILERS*

Here, we have an extended sequence involving the torture of a man of Middle-Eastern descent, though clearly a native San Andreas citizen. In order to extract 'necessary' information, Trevor engages in some well-known torture techniques. What makes the scene difficult is not merely the physical torture. Trevor tears out teeth and shocks the man with a car battery in the same way one would make breakfast for a lover.

In doing this, the scene can come across as 'enjoying' the man's pained experience, though I sincerely doubt that was the writers' intent.

Instead, I think the writers expected the gamer to behave in the same way as Trevor: detached, slightly demented, even enjoying the scene to some extent. They believe that the America they are subtly criticizing would happily indulge in some freely chosen torture. As long as it doesn't happen in real life. After all, we've heard plenty about waterboarding in the "War on Terror." Many reviewers have decried the sequence, and it seems that gamers and critics are split on the necessity and effectiveness of this particular piece of the game.

For me, maybe that is the point. The satire boils down to what the writer's expect American's to do when handed a pixelated pair of pliers. Was the scene necessary? Not really. It doesn't particularly stand out as needing to exist, though it is consistent with the satirical elements already established. It does, however, emphasize pain in a way the game hasn't up to that point. Particularly emotional pain. So, is the scene necessary again? Maybe. Most likely not. I also wonder to what extent the writers believe in the im/maturity of the gamer. Since they don't let you opt out of the mistreatment, maybe that's my answer. Was the scene effective?

Absolutely. I'm talking about it with you right now.

*END SPOILERS*

Certainly GTAV gave me plenty to consider, on top of being a technically flawless experience. I still hop in a customized bike and ride around to the top of the Vinewood sign just to observe some deer running across the road.

To say the game isn't narratively gripping and genuinely fun to play is to be dishonest. What matters more is how mature a gamer is in regards to negative content. Anyone can have a good time, but it takes reflection to truly recognize the limitations of fun.

GTAV a bruising, darkly funny satire of the country that would encourage much of the world to spend over 1 billion dollars on it in three days. Its that good. Its that funny. Its that desperate.

--Nick

Friday, April 12, 2013

How to Write a Successful (Christian) Blog and get Away with Writing Really Long Titles

1. Never nuance your comments. Be a general tosser. It doesn't matter your religious perogative. The more combative, the better. And use curse words because you're a badass. Imitate the Onion at all cost.

2. Always cite someone authoritative from a different language. Like Aristotle. Or Ghandi. Oh. It helps if they are already dead so you can put all sorts of confirmed words in their cake sockets.

3. Never admit defeat. That's like pulling a fresh cake (which is a lie, see what I did there) out of the oven, decorating the snot out of it setting it up for the wedding couple and jumping all over it like it owed you money.

4. Pop culture references. See number 3.

5. If you are a progressive christian blogger, always assert your moral superiority by either ignoring constructive comments or retort by citing (similar to point 2) someone who has a few initials after their name. Initials mean things. Use words like doubt, sex, ignorant, intolerant, cake and MSNBC at least once per post. The more morally superior you sound, the more morally superior you are.

6. If you are a fundamentalist christian blogger, make sure you humiliate your opponents by claiming they are "in sin" like its a corporate body (in sin, get it?). This keeps tensions high and assures your theological boundary markers, in case other saps try to exercise authority over you. Slogans such as "heretic" and "liberal" are adequate put downs. Remember, words hurt liberals a lot more than being right.

7. Last but certainly not least, copy and paste everything you find. Like I do. Except here.

Thanks for your time, I hope to hear from you soon. :)

--Nick

Saturday, February 16, 2013

President Obama, Republicans and a Wonderful Cartoon Pun

This made me laugh. A bit because I know some folk like this, but mostly because I love puns.

--Nick

Friday, December 14, 2012

Film Award 2012: The Cheap Wine Hangover Award

 So glad you came back for thirds. The following film deserves the award, and it fits the criteria thusly:

The film was awesome at the time and falls apart the more I think about it. It tastes great, but gives a painful reward for enjoying it.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:
Prometheus.

True, there were times in the theater where I felt my eyes knocking around the inside of my skull in annoyance, but the film by far was a cinematic treat. Until I stopped and thought about it.

The stupid cliche characters meandering around after getting separated, and then getting turned into worm poop? The odd love scene? The lame pseudo-theological crap spewed by the protagonist that sounds like something Ken Ham would say? The fact that the ship at the end didn't have any external weaponry? The hallmark "Fireproof-esque" 'heaven' dream?

The almost goofy zombie mid-section where the mad lover leaps around the ship like he's caught an intergalactic case of hungry crabs?

But, in fairness, the film is a lot deeper than I remember and the cinematography is jaw-slappingly beautiful. So, yes, I will be watching the sequel.

--Nick

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Odd Theology: The Politics of Pokemon

Because I feel like it, I'm going to annoy some people about their favorite childhood game. A modest proposal, if you will.

UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE

Think about it. Free care for your Pokemon who have been shuffled off to fight your own battles. And I don't think Ash has ever needed free healthcare, because blacking out and waking up in a completely different location is normal.

ANIMAL CRUELTY

I think PETA might be onto something here. Despite some variations, most Pokemon seem to be relatively harmless unless provoked. Or stunned. Or hit with rocks. Seriously, is our ego that conflated to believe that helpless animals fighting on our behalf does anything besides wreck the integrity of the sanctity of life?

He said while sitting on a sheepskin rug.

DRUG LEGALIZATION

X Factor drugs to be used on Pokemon.

Given how Ash treats his Pokemon (that is, with reckless abandon regardless of their personal abilities; like sending an electric Pokemon to fry a rock), I doubt he seriously has any issue imbibing the drugs he stuffs into his mutant little Mickey Mouse rat.

In case you were wondering, Pikachu inhaled.

SCHOOL SYSTEM

Apparently, this is the failure of homeschooling. Utterly delusional. If there were a nationalized school system, there would be far less fat neck beard Pokemon trainers running around. The movement must be stopped.

And while we're at it

GAY RIGHTS

Rainbow badge. Think of the children.

CONCLUSION

Pokemon teaches our children that animals have the right to be beaten, captured and tortured into fighting. This assures us that the end result is that they can be healed and leveled up for us to further exploit. Like surfing on them. It teaches our children that healthcare is an inalienable right (scoff), violence is justifiable and evolution is an animated scientific fact.

Like gravity. Or the screams of lobsters in hot pots.

Pokemon is nothing more than a leftist liberal looney bin libertarian screed against all that is statist and strict. And for that, it must be burned at the stake.

--Nick

*paid for by Team Rocket*

Friday, April 13, 2012

The Daily Lewis Black


This is Grand Theft Auto 3. The object of this game, WHO CARES? I'm too busy randomly hitting an old lady with a bat, carjacking a station wagon and running over people, or, my personal favorite, running over the person whose car I just stole, WITH THE CAR I JUST STOLE! Now, THIS is a video game! Rescuing the princess is for PUSSIES!
For my boy Chance. Get better man!


--Lewis Black

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The Daily Lewis Black, "Enron"


"You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company, can't explain, in ONE SENTENCE....what it does....it's illegal."
--Lewis Black

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Daily Dose of (political) Humor, "Tea Party"

I'm a (somewhat liberal) Republican, and this is funny.


--Nick

The Daily Lewis Black

"My mother may watch Glenn Beck. Because I think as long as there's reason to be pissed, my mother will stay alive."  
--Lewis Black

Sunday, March 11, 2012

7 Reasons to vote for Mickey Mouse in 2012


1) If South Park is any indication, he won't suffer fools or boy bands. Thus, he will not allow any harm to befall those he cares about. Provided we all have shares in Disney.

2) He's in favor of big business. Let's face it gents, business versus military. Though Mickey is not opposed to physical violence to prevent other violence, it seems he'd prefer sitting back on his ass and making money. The ultimate capitalist. He's also quite excessive, having an entire multi-billion dollar industry based on him.

3) He's in favor of same-sex marriage. This will appeal to Blue State voters. He would also charge them a lot to get married.

4) His perspective on religion is mixed. At best he is an agnostic who dislikes the interference of personal faith in the business sector. He is all about the benjamins.

5) He is most certainly objectively NOT a racist. At best, he was young when he had a few youthful indiscretions. Now, he's overcompensating. Which is good. More jobs for everyone.

6) He supports Kony 2012.

7) He would NEVER cheat on Minnie. Not for all the tea in China. He's already purchased it and has outsourced it to Mexico, all the while enforcing a strict border policy.

--Nick

Friday, March 9, 2012

The Lewis Black Today

This is dedicated to Chance. One love.
"We have a two party system: the Democratic party, which is a party of no ideas, and the Republican party, which is a party of bad ideas. And the way it works is, the Republican stands up in Congress and goes, "I got a really bad idea." And the Democrat says, "And I can make it shittier."" --Lewis Black.
--Nick 

Daily Dose of Humor, "Boondocks!"






Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Monday, March 5, 2012

Newt Schrute

Hoooooooooo boy.


This is for giving me over 4,000 views in less than 2 weeks. Very cool. Thanks. ;)

--Nick