Odd Theology: The Politics of Pokemon

Because I feel like it, I'm going to annoy some people about their favorite childhood game. A modest proposal, if you will.

UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE

Think about it. Free care for your Pokemon who have been shuffled off to fight your own battles. And I don't think Ash has ever needed free healthcare, because blacking out and waking up in a completely different location is normal.

ANIMAL CRUELTY

I think PETA might be onto something here. Despite some variations, most Pokemon seem to be relatively harmless unless provoked. Or stunned. Or hit with rocks. Seriously, is our ego that conflated to believe that helpless animals fighting on our behalf does anything besides wreck the integrity of the sanctity of life?

He said while sitting on a sheepskin rug.

DRUG LEGALIZATION

X Factor drugs to be used on Pokemon.

Given how Ash treats his Pokemon (that is, with reckless abandon regardless of their personal abilities; like sending an electric Pokemon to fry a rock), I doubt he seriously has any issue imbibing the drugs he stuffs into his mutant little Mickey Mouse rat.

In case you were wondering, Pikachu inhaled.

SCHOOL SYSTEM

Apparently, this is the failure of homeschooling. Utterly delusional. If there were a nationalized school system, there would be far less fat neck beard Pokemon trainers running around. The movement must be stopped.

And while we're at it

GAY RIGHTS

Rainbow badge. Think of the children.

CONCLUSION

Pokemon teaches our children that animals have the right to be beaten, captured and tortured into fighting. This assures us that the end result is that they can be healed and leveled up for us to further exploit. Like surfing on them. It teaches our children that healthcare is an inalienable right (scoff), violence is justifiable and evolution is an animated scientific fact.

Like gravity. Or the screams of lobsters in hot pots.

Pokemon is nothing more than a leftist liberal looney bin libertarian screed against all that is statist and strict. And for that, it must be burned at the stake.

--Nick

*paid for by Team Rocket*

Odd Theology: Pokemon, Dominionism & Appositional Musings

I might just do this every Sunday. Play some Pokemon and muse about the relationship between Pokemon and theology or philosophy. Y'know, nerd stuff.

Beginning with the naming of the villain:

Of course he does.

I did name my Bulbasaur "Origen." Yes. Yes I did. And I got my ass kicked by the little flamer.

This is actually kinda fun. Won't lie.

And the final results of my foray into the Pokemon realm:

Most of my favorite theologians, or at least one's I tolerate. Augustine being one. The next one's on my list are KIERKEGAARD, DANTE, PINNOCK, HITCHENS (yes, that guy) and TALBOTT.

In thinking and playing this, I do wonder why Pensacola and others reacted so strongly to the creatures "evolving." I probably learned more about biological evolution and science from the two weeks I was allowed to play Pokemon than I did in the several years of A Beka book material. Though Pensacola did allow me to play with corrosive chemicals.

Anyway.

I just got a Pikachu and named him CLEMENT. I tried naming him GAIMAN, but I think I'll wait for a psychic Pokemon to be caught.

As for theology, I do find interesting parallels between Genesis, Christian dominion-ism and the Pokemon world. Not really, but run with me.

I don't really consider Genesis 1-11 to be historical. Sure, historical things may have happened, but I see too many parallels with near-eastern creation myths and don't find the hermeneutical methods of interpreting Genesis in a young earth way very persuasive. In regards to Pokemon, I see some sort of De/Theistic Evolution at work, given the near mythological creatures and that some of the townspeople have a near "religious" fascination with them.

Gotta catch em' all never sounded so fanatical.

But, considering that Genesis 1:28 is often the central proof text for Christian Re-constructionists to support literally "ruling" the earth ( as well as "Christian" rule but I won't get into that), it came to mind when I realized I was capturing and subduing the entire nation of creatures known as Pokemon. Was it "good?" Not "good?" Or very "good?" It begged the question, "should I have dominion over this world, and subdue each creature for my own personal gain?"

Then I realized that I was debating this over brightly colored pixels when I could be eating tacos and playing basketball.

Til next Sunday!

Gonna catch em' all.

--Nick