Friday, August 17, 2012

The Beauty of My Sin, or Confessions

Here are some things that I ought to confess. Not in any sense of guilt (though some of them do make me cringe), but more out of obligation and simply getting it out there. And I enjoy getting to know people's quirks, and offering my own seems to work well enough.

I figure I'll start with 10.

1. I hate how I look in pictures. That is why I often don't smile.

2. I'm going bald, and it really doesn't bug me. But I do wish I had long straight hair that I could blow out of my face. So I guess it kinda does bug me.

3. I'm still terrified of going to hell, or the thought of anyone being there. This is a childhood fear. One that really bothers me.

4. I talk too much when others need to talk. I need to listen better and more.

5. I don't think I'll be successful in life and I do wonder if this is as good as it gets. Which is scary in it's own way.

6. There are days I doubt the existence of a good god. Not in any sense of agnosticism, but of a healthy fear and realization of my own nature.

7. I wish I had studied theology more while at Biola, and had been more serious about pursuing some sort of scholarly academia.

8. I wish I wasn't studying various theological topics, and that I was ignorant. Yes, this conflicts with number 7.

9. I wish I was better for her.

10. I need to love more. 
What about you?

--Nick

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