Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Making God Look Good "Cover Letter"

Nicholas Ahern
555 Red Herring Ave
Orange County, CA

February 28, 2012

Re/ Personal Public Relations Director
To: St. Paul

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to present myself to Irvine Center for IMAGO DEI Enterprise. 

I believe that endurance and self-motivation are both vital for success.  

I possess the endurance and self-motivation required for a goal-oriented and result-driven marketplace. My drive to succeed coupled with my sense of loyalty has made me an asset to employers and furthered my education. For instance, while I was earning my B.A., I realized I did not have enough money to finish my last semester, but was determined to get my degree. I rode my bike eight miles traveling to and from the train station between a less expensive community college and Biola University. I made it to class on time and graduated. Not with honors, but I did graduate anyway. 

I have a minor in theology, and though I am not classically trained as a theologian, I do have a wealth of experience in storytelling and filmmaking. I am certain that there must be a great many theologians and lawyers willing to work for you, but I believe I am more qualified then them and this is why:

I don't have anything to lose. But your boss does. In fact, if your boss turn out to have a negative reputation, many of the people he created will end up pushing paper in a very hot basement for all eternity.

I have experience in defending many people like Rob Bell, George W. Bush, Barack Obama and John Piper. I can be impartial if paid enough to overlook my conscience. 

I work hard consistently and am always eager to direct people to great products or services. This is why I would love to set up a convenient time to discuss the possibility of working for IMAGO DEI Enterprises. Having worked within the fast-paced environment of academia and Hollywood, I believe I would be a valuable asset to your organization. Please contact me at your earliest convenience. 


Nicholas Ahern

1 comment:

  1. dude, this cracked me up during a pretty crappy evening. thanks!