Wednesday, April 11, 2012

"You Know You're a Liberal If. . ."

I don't buy most of this, so I figured I'd answer each one. For fun. 


You can discern the geographic distance between Kenya and Hawaii. 

Guilty. Not liberal. 

Bernie Sanders is one of your favorite senators. 

Who? Oh. Yeah, not a fan. 

You’re seriously considering dropping Verizon and switching to Credo Mobile. 

What does my phone service have to do with my (lackof) liberalism?

You get much of your news from Rachel Maddow, Bill Maher and/or Jon Stewart. 

Very guilty of this. 

You’re in favor of tax increases to support the common good even if you have to pay more yourself. 

Nope. Not liberal here. 

You recognize that marijuana is physically less harmful than either cigarettes or alcohol. 

I recognize that. 

You understand Citizens United is about 5 conservative justices who are united against citizens and who favor the corporate control of elections. 

Never read it. Will watch movie if it comes out. #intentionalignoranceforhumorssake

You get that Ron Paul is no better than the Tea Party. 

Actually, I fully agree with this. 

You’ve pissed off a conservative in your life by railing against Fox News or Sarah Palin. 

Guilty. 

You have an “Obama ‘08” or “Obama 2012” logo riding on your bumper. 

I don't have any bumpstickers on my car. 

You are a fan of a dozen or more liberal pages on Facebook

*goes and counts

Ehhh. Roughly half and half, probably more. 

At some point, you wore dreads or went barefoot in public – or you know a few people who fit this description. 

My hear doesn't dread. I have gone barefoot in public though. 

You read food labels. 

That's where they put directions, right?

You have gay friends and you respect them.
I don't know how they are using the term "respect" but sure. I respect my gay friends quite a bit. 

You probably graduated from college and your degree probably isn’t in marketing or business administration. 

Screenwriting and a minor in theology? It isn't marketing but it is a bible minor. 

You post to Facebook and Twitter in support of liberal causes. A conservative friend may have un-friended you because of your posts. 

I think conservative friends may have unfriended me for theological reasons rather than political. Of course, liberal friends have unfriended me for the same reason. 

You support the middle class.
Nope. 1% ftw.

You don’t think NPR is biased.

I do think NPR is biased. I also think FOX is biased. 

You think the Koch brothers are evil.

Heheh. *Koch*

You’ve been following the dogged and brave uprising in Wisconsin.

There's an uprising in Wisconsin? If it's been longer than four hours, might want to get that checked out. 

You prefer to breathe non-cancer-causing air and drink non-toxic water.

I think any human being with instinct would prefer this option.

You value a good standard of living for the public over corporate profits.

I'm not opposed to either. 

You believe people should be able to choose, in private, the family planning option that’s right for them.

Okay, this bugged me. What's being suggested here? I don't get it. Like homeschooling? 

You use hash tags like #p2, #p21, #topprog, and #taxtherich on Twitter.

Can't say I have.

You are serious about recycling.

Yeah. Blue can/ black can. 

You actually care that the ice caps are melting, coral reefs are dying and bio-diversity is diminishing.

You mean there will be less ice for my baby seal/oil martini? 

You can find Iraq on a map while realizing that Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11.

I can find Iraq on a map.

You’ve been called a hippie, a bleeding heart or a tree hugger.

Actually, I have been called all three. I don't remember any good reason why. 

You believe education and health care should be subsidized for the common good.

Ehhh, not really. 

GOP voter suppression is ticking you off enough to mobilize the vote within your circles.

Because the GOP is only suppressing people. Bah.

You’ve given to a homeless person – ever.

I gave him a penny and told him to keep the change. And then I kicked his shopping cart.

You cringe when you hear Obama referred to as a “one-term president.”

Yeah. One-term was too much. C'mon fellas, too easy. 

You have gotten into a heated online debate with a Republican troll and even though you didn’t change their mind it still felt good to defeat their logic. 

Actually, yes. It was kinda fun. 

This is a work in progress! Add your own “You know you’re a liberal if” line below and we may include it in the sequel!


This was actually kinda fun. ;-)

--Nick

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